When I left the US for the Philippines in January 2007, I considered the
fact that I might not ever find my husband. Growing up, I knew dozens of great
single missionary ladies, and only one single missionary man. I had always
wanted to marry, but fed my heart on the promise that the God who created
marriage would certainly be able to find a way to make my choice to follow Him
into missions worth it.
Within my first month of arriving in country, I was staying at the SIL
guesthouse in Manila, and knew from my friend Amy that Jordan, a young single
guy would be there too. She had mentioned him to me before in emails. I
remember really wanting to make a good impression, but more than that, I didn't
want to seem desperate, so when we were seated at opposite ends of a very large
table I focused my conversations on those sitting closer me.
Amy played a significant role in really introducing us to each other. Amy
and Jordan were the only young people living at the SIL center in Bagabag,
about 8 hours north of Manila. She was living in the apartment above his, and I
got to know Jordan as I spent the week visiting her during my March break. As
Amy and I chattered about guys we liked or cared about, it surprised me that
Jordan's response was, "Wouldn't it be nice if some girl would talk about me
like this." In my mind, I asked him, "Why would you say that? How do you know
how many girls already have?". I understood how he felt, but knew that he had a
lot going for him: he was an intelligent, good looking guy who was a good cook
and interested in missions (see single girl to single guy ratio on the mission
field mentioned above).
After I returned to Manila, 8 hours south of Bagabag, Jordan and I continued
staying in touch via skype (where you can chat or talk via the computer). Since
he thought there must be a pretty big age difference (he thought I was about 22
or 23, but I was 27 :)), and as I was interested in another young man, our
relationship continued at a friendship level. When Jordan visited me in Manila,
he us to be able to spend time together, and I asked him if he'd come with me
to immigration to get my fingerprinting done, and he did! It was nearly an all
day outing which involved lots of rides in crammed and hot public
transportation. Again, I was duly impressed, though my heart was focused
elsewhere.
From June to February, Jordan and I were in different countries, but
continued talking on skype. The months went by, the relationship with the other
young man I had liked faded, and I learned that Jordan was stopping by the
Philippines on his way to Thailand to reconnect with those he'd been close to
during his internship. It was while he was visiting that we decided to pursue a
romantic relationship.
Well, I say romantic, but for the first few months, Jordan was far more
romantic than I was. I genuinely cared about him, but wasn't initially
attracted to him, mainly for superficial reasons. I was honest with him, and he
still didn't run away. I remember telling him, "Jordan, you still haven't won
my heart. It's as though I could see you from the sidelines, giving it your
best, and I'm cheering you on, and hoping you'll win, but not sure if you
will."
Jordan did win my heart. He pursued me. He made sure he would see me on his
way to Thailand. He told me in loving words how much he appreciated every facet
of me: my brain, my heart, my beauty, my relationship with God.
He spent time with me, listened to me, and shared his heart with me. When he
heard that my family would be nearby, he drove a few hours to meet over 18 of
my family members, without me to even introduce him to them! It's not the ideal
way to meet a family, especially when some of them haven't even seen each other
in years, but he still came away really liking my crazy, big, close family.
We had wanted to spend time together in person during the summer of 2008,
but simply couldn't afford the $1000 plane ticket. By the time I was able to
fly to the US in December 2008, I felt like I was going out on my third date
with my boyfriend of ten months. Jordan and I both knew that dynamics can be a
lot different in person than they are long distance. Personal habits,
backgrounds, friends and family were all going to come in to play much more
than before. From our conversations about our differences, I was nervous that
this time might not go well. I was even afraid that I'd be miserable in the
cold weather. Boy was I wrong! Even before I arrived, God sent a blanket of
snow over a foot deep to welcome me. Snow was falling when my airplane landed,
and I was enchanted by it! I was able to connect with his family, I enjoyed
time with his friends, and they even liked me too! Shortly after Christmas,
Jordan came down with me to Arizona, where we attended a reunion of SIL Mexico
MKs. We spent time with my other brother and sister, Chris and Holly. I was so
glad to be with so many people I loved all at once! By that point, Jordan had
met everyone in my immediate family except my dad, and that is quite a feat,
since they live in Bangkok, Oregon, Los Angeles, South Carolina and Southern
Mexico!
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Stories...
Meeting my Dad
Jordan had actually been talking to my dad on Skype for months, and had been
asking when he could meet my dad in person, but because Dad lives in southern
Mexico, and Jordan lives in Washington state, July 2009 was looking like the
first time they'd be in the same country to arrange a meeting.
The first night of our stay in Arizona, after Jordan and I had gone our
separate ways, Jordan poured his heart out the Lord, as he dealt with the
uncertainty of where we should go next in our relationship. His prayer was
something like this:
"Lord, I love her, and I want to marry her, but I don't want to just take
her, if it's not right for me to do so. I also don't want to be an idiot and
let her slip through my fingers if you are happy to see us together. Could you
give me a sign? oh, but Jesus said that it's only a wicked and perverse
generation that asks for a sign, and I don't want to be wicked and perverse!
What am I supposed to do? Well, I guess there's nothing I can do. I still
haven't met her dad, so it's not like I could even ask big questions if I was
ready to."
The next morning, Chris and Holly (my oldest and youngest siblings) and
Jordan and I were getting ready to go on a hike when Chris got a phone call.
What Jordan and I heard was,
"Hi! ... Mom and Dad! ... NO WAY!! ... When do you get here?"
Yep, my amazing nomadic parents had decided to fit in a 16 hour road trip
from where they were in Texas out to see us in Arizona. The trip back to their
home in Mexico would take days.
I turned to Jordan and watched the news alter his face and his pattern of
breathing. The pressure was on, but it wasn't just that. He had just seen God
answer his prayer.
A few hours later, Jordan was able to meet my dad, and my dad gave his
blessing for Jordan to marry me. We enjoyed the next two days together before
Jordan and I flew back up to Seattle.
The next few days were a whirlwind of visiting family and friends, though we
managed to fit in a trip to the jewelry store where we found the perfect ring,
on the clearance rack, and in my size! The only problem was that it was
Wednesday, and on Friday I would be leaving for the Philippines.
We had been planning to celebrate New Years with some of Jordan's friends
from a Bible study he'd been attending, and Jordan set things up for us to have
a special moment right when the new year began. He had suggested that I wear a
nice dress, but I declined, since I knew everyone else would be wearing jeans
and sweaters. Little did he know that as soon as I figured out what was about
to happen, I would look up at him pleadingly before he could get the ring out,
and simply say, "Jordan, I'm surrounded by strangers." My kind man took the
hint and didn't propose, while his friend took pictures of the non-event. He
was completely gracious about delaying the question, but later he told me that
doing so was really, really hard for him.
From the party, Jordan took me back to his mom's house, and then got ready
to go to bed, while I ran to the room where I was staying, and got on that nice
dress that Jordan had wanted me to wear, prettied myself up a bit, and went to
wait for him in the living room just in case he still had a question to ask me.
When Jordan walked past the living room, he realized that he needed to get
dressed up again, and came back prepared to ask me the question.
We weren't at a fancy restaurant, but the ambiance couldn't have been
better. There was a beautiful blanket of snow on the ground outside the window
behind me, and the Christmas tree lights were all on when Jordan got on one
knee to ask me to be his wife. He confessed that he wasn't offering me "happily
ever after", but lovingly told me how much he appreciated each aspect of who I
was, how I had been a blessing in his life, and that he wanted to spend the
rest of his life married to me.
When he asked if I would marry him,
I said yes!!
